


Calling To Me

by morethanwords



Category: Glee RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-16
Updated: 2016-04-16
Packaged: 2018-06-02 14:05:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,740
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6569194
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/morethanwords/pseuds/morethanwords
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>AU of how things could be. Post Glee musing</p>
            </blockquote>





	Calling To Me

Looking back, Chris couldn't pinpoint what exactly had changed… but something definitely had. Logically it had to be him… but he didn't feel any different… he just was different… and he didn't know how it had happened. Chris' head hurt (as it did every time he touched on the topic) so he took himself off to the bedroom of his small, rented, London apartment, just so he could lay down and give his head a rest.

 

After only a few short weeks this was the place that Chris was slowly beginning to think of as home… a place of tranquil solitude which those who knew him well, would know was often what he needed after a hectic day working on his latest project. But while it gave him the peace he needed… it also gave him too much time to think… and sometimes worry. Not about work… he rarely worried about work… but about himself as a person.. and often the people who touched his life.

 

He'd hurt people. He never wanted to hurt people… but he had… but it was all as if it was happening to someone else… because Chris didn't hurt people. Especially not those he kept close to him. For the last few years he'd depended on his friends and people who worked for him. He'd lived in the cocoon he'd built up for himself, safe in the secure world it offered…. and he'd been happy… never wanting anything more.

 

*******************

 

There'd been no doubt in Chris' mind that he'd been happy. Without a question or a doubt… he had the life he'd dreamed of…. a successful career in a hit tv show… an amazingly gorgeous, attentive boyfriend (Okay sometimes a little too attentive).. and plenty of close friends to spend quality time with. He'd loved his home which housed his boyfriend and his furry pets (his babies) and he had just been content.

 

Maybe he'd been drifting… he didn't know, but it certainly had never felt like that… but the tv show finished… and it was like it clicked a switch.. somewhere deep inside of him. Suddenly it was time to move onto a new project… flying over to live in London for several months… and the thought of bringing anyone of significance with him set him off with a wave a claustrophobia. It seemed that the freedom he felt from a complete change of work, was also something he needed to feel in his personal life.

 

It was inevitable that voicing such thoughts out loud meant that someone was going to get hurt. Chris hated hurting anyone, but neither was it fair to string anyone along… and there were only so many ways you could say 'I don't want you to come to London with me.' So that was that…. and although he still felt a little guilty about the whole thing, he also felt as if a huge weight had been lifted off his shoulders. He'd decided that the solitude of living by himself would feel like the punishment he deserved… but his overwhelming emotion was one of relief.

 

******************

 

Work hadn't really started in earnest yet. There'd been fittings and meetings.. and some read throughs with some of the cast.. but for now, Chris was allowed to be a tourist for some of the time. A hat pulled snuggly over his head.. and he was anonymous enough to go out and about without being detected. In the past, so called 'sightings' of him with his friends and family had been set up by his PR company.. because whilst famous, he probably wasn't that well known that he couldn't have slipped under the radar. He'd hated it at the time.. still cringed at the idea.. but it all went with protecting his image, or so he was told.

 

Chris loved living in LA: the long months and days of sunshine to enjoy. But here in London the slightly gloomy damp weather suited his melancholy mood. When the sun came out here, you learned to enjoy it.. make the most of it.. because it could be gone before you knew it. He'd only been here for just a few short weeks.. so maybe the novelty would wear off… but he didn't think it would. Once he'd worn out all the 'thinking' time he was now afforded, perhaps he'd regret everything… who knew? Logically that could be the case.. but Chris could only feel a low level thrumming in his body. The kind of feeling you had when there was a chance of something new and exciting about to happen, but you had no idea what that something might be.

 

After walking around with no real plan for the afternoon, exploring small streets and shops, Chris arrived back at his rented apartment, sated but happy. For once he had a completely free evening.. and he planned to spend it kicking back on his couch.. comfortable clothing a necessity, and maybe sometime later making himself a simple meal. Chris just wanted to squeal.. simply with the excitement of having nothing to do.

 

**************

 

It was a small surprise some hours later that Chris heard a light knocking on his apartment door. He'd engrossed himself in writing another chapter for his book and had been lost to where he was, or what the time even was… his dinner plans forgotten. He thought about ignoring it… because who did he even know who would be knocking on his door here in London? He only had a handful of new friends that he'd made since he arrived… and half of them were far too important to be calling on him.. so really.. who could it be? He was, however, a little curious...

 

Another light knock.. and Chris got up.. peeping through the spy hole in his door before opening up to goodness knows who. Somehow he wasn't as shocked as he should have been on seeing Darren standing on the other side of his door, albeit half way across the other side of the world from the city where they both lived. Darren who thought nothing of plane hopping from event to event would be completely unfazed by catching a flight to London at short notice.

 

Chris said nothing when he opened the door.. just raising his eyebrows at the other man with a half smile. 

 

"Sorry to call by unannounced," Darren started, making his way into the apartment past Chris who was gripping the door handle a little tighter than necessary, as he held the door wide open. 

 

Chris watched Darren for a moment, closing the door behind him with a small shake of his head. "How did you even know…?" he began.

 

"Your publicist," Darren interrupted, "… and don't be mad. I kind of made her tell me."

 

"She always did have far too much of a soft spot for you. She organises my life with an iron fist… but one word from you… and she's under some kind of hypnosis." Chris was well aware that his publicist was worried about him, here in London… fresh from a break up.. alone in a strange city. She was one of the few people who knew the history he and Darren shared.. and knew without being told, how special Darren was to him… He had a special place in Chris' heart.. even when they weren't in touch for long periods. It was no real wonder that she'd told Darren where he was staying.

 

Of course he and Darren had fooled around together quite a bit in the beginning. They'd both been single at the time… and young.. and naive… two good friends who had a lot in common, who just happened to be having desperate sex on any available surface as soon as they were alone…. it turned out to be quite a good combination. The tv company had soon put a stop to it though.. as soon as they'd got wind of what was going on, they'd both been hauled in for a meeting… and told in no uncertain terms that there was no way they could both remain on the programme if their behaviour carried on. That was the first time that Chris realised he was in love with Darren. 

 

Chris shook himself out of his thoughts. Just remembering everything made him feel angry. "Hungry?" Chris asked. "I was just going to make myself something…"

 

"Sure…" Darren followed Chris into the kitchen. "It's okay that I just came over isn't it? You know how impulsive I can be… but I can go if you're busy."

 

"Darren. It's fine." Chris smiled. "Wherever my home is.. you're always welcome. That hasn't changed, and never will."

 

"Good. Thanks." Darren smiled back, looking unusually coy.

 

********

 

Darren hadn't really elaborated about what he was doing here.. in London, and by the time they sat down at the small dining table with a plate of food and a glass of wine Chris' curiosity got the better of him. "So… " he began, looking up at Darren. "It's lovely to see you… but what exactly are you doing here?" Chris toyed with the food on his plate. "I mean I know you didn't come here just to see me.. or at least I hope you didn't."

 

Darren smiled, looking carefully over at Chris. "I've had a few meetings about Hedwig… I might open it here in the West End next year if everything goes to plan. You did know it might be coming to London, right?"

 

Chris nodded. "You did mention it might.. that's really great Darren. Are you going to be here long?.. only I know you… never idle for long."

 

"Haven't decided yet.. " he hesitated. "I've a few other meetings, but I might take a bit of downtime. I need to… need a break."

 

They ate silently for a bit. It had been a long time since they'd been together like this, and Chris marvelled how easy it felt with Darren. He'd thought he'd been craving time alone… but suddenly this felt perfect too. God, he was so messed up.

 

"I.. um… I was sorry to hear about you.. your break up." Darren didn't quite meet Chris' eye when he spoke.

 

"Word's obviously got around then," Chris said, smiling wryly, carrying on when Darren didn't elaborate on where he'd heard the news. "But yeah.. thanks. It was me who finished it though."

 

"I thought you were happy.. " Darren looked him right in the eye this time. "Or at least you seemed happy… what happened?"

 

Chris shrugged. "I was… at least I thought I was happy… but I can't explain it.. " He took a large gulp of his wine, almost choking as he fought a sob bubbling in his throat. Where had that come from? At Darren's alarmed face, Chris shook his head, speaking quietly, "I'm okay.. I just feel bad about it that's all, in as much as it was all me… but I'm also relieved…"

 

"Chris," Darren sighed, "don't beat yourself up over it... people break up all the time. It's far better to be honest…"

 

"What about you?" Chris interrupted, desperate to move the conversation away from himself. "I mean are you here on your own? Only I heard a rumour… And anyway where are you staying?"

 

Darren smiled softly. "We're just doing public event photo opportunities for the foreseeable future. Kind of forced on me.. but anyway that means I'm here on my own… currently booked into a small hotel, until I decide what to do." 

 

Chris raised his eyebrows, then sighed. "This conversation's getting far to heavy for two young single men." He stood up from the table, with a wry smile. "How about a Disney movie?"

Darren cracked a smile. "Just like old times.."

"Just like old times."

*********

It was an unspoken muscle memory when they silently slipped between the sheets of Chris' borrowed bed. Their naked bodies fitting together just as well as they'd always done.. erections slotting side by side as they picked up the familiar rhythm… their eyes locked in wonder as they came together, noisily.. messily… deliciously. Gentle kisses when they were to lazy to move, after.

"You are going to stay, aren't you?" Chris asked, tracing the line of Darren's jaw with his fingers. "I've missed you."

"Tonight?" Darren smiled, grinning as he kissed the tip of Chris' nose affectionately.

"Yeah.. tonight.. Or…" Chris pushed Darren onto his back… laying on top of him… ignoring the familiar stirrings that he was feeling as their bodies pressed together. His lips lingered on Darren's.. before he rested he his head down.

"I'd love to stay," Darren whispered. "I've missed you too, you know. Missed this…" His fingers easily traced the line of Chris' spine.. gentle in his thoughts. "You just make me feel like I've come home.. always.."

"Check out of your hotel tomorrow.." Chris said quietly, not looking at Darren as he spoke. "I'd love to have you here with me.. it'd give us more time together… while you're here."

Darren smiled happily. "Yeah? That'd be perfect.. I'd love to."

*******

Best decision ever.. Chris decided as they lay in bed together, a few mornings later. They'd get up when they had to.. but for now, this was nice.

They'd slowly been readjusting to being together again.. but it was an easy habit. Their first night together had been subdued… and gentle… but wonderfully familiar. Chris had always loved the simple intimacy of climbing onto Darren's lap…. the closeness of being able to slide onto his gorgeous cock... and make love slowly to the man who could make him 'feel' in a way that no one else could.

Sometimes though, things were pretty feisty between them. They'd argue and squabble. And then, at those times, their love making was fast and furious… matching their mood. Last night had been one of those nights… the first since their new found intimacy.

Their arguments were rarely serious… just two different view points on a variety of topics… but they'd still been squabbling as they ripped off their clothes last night… both aroused by what they knew what was coming next. Chris was still complaining how bossy Darren was as he wrapped his legs around Darren's neck, pumping in and out of the other man's mouth.. "just to keep you quiet."

"Sometimes I hate you," Chris snapped sometime later, before licking up the length of Darren's cock. "I'm gonna make you come.. so hard." Chris always kept his promises.

It was almost midnight when they'd playfully fought over who was going to bottom.. in the end, Darren giving in (he usually did). "Only because I can see how desperate you are to have me inside you," Darren growled, earning himself an indignant huff from Chris, who was unable to argue the point.

Chris always loved Darren first thing in the morning.. soft, pliant, calm… loved the look on his face when he blinked himself sleepily awake… loved the soft little sounds he made when Chris couldn't resist touching him. "I love you," Chris smiled, winding his fingers into Darren's soft curls, enjoying how Darren hummed in satisfaction at his touch. 

They'd both said 'I love you' to each other, many times before… and meant it. Chris loved Darren with an unwavering certainty. Even if they never ended up together, he'd still love him. It was love without expectations.

"Love you more," Darren grinned playfully, pressing their lips together with a loud "mwah".

"I wish it could always be like this for us." Chris grew serious for a moment, tears beginning to prick the backs of his eyes. He curled his body around Darren's, trying not to let any tears escape.

"You know what," Darren said softly, gently running his thumb along Chris' quivering lip, "I actually think it could be… now… something more permanent for us. I want it to be… don't you? We're good together."

Chris held on to Darren's hand, kissing the pad of his thumb. "I want it too. Six years ago I wanted it…"

"Since our man date then?" Darren's comment made them both smile. Once the story of their outing on the day they'd met leaked out, Darren had made a habit of retelling the tale on many an occasion… stirring up the fans a little… making his own publicist groan in despair.

"Since our man date," Chris confirmed, getting ready to ravish the beautiful man next to him, before they really did have to get up.


End file.
